Au revoir
by Kimmimaru
Summary: Good bye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be. - Walt Disney. When Sirius leaves, Regulus' determination hardens. (T for swearing)


_AN : A one shot based upon Sirius' leaving his home at Sixteen. I hope you enjoy._

Au revoir

_Good bye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.  
- Walt Disney_

They had been close once, Regulus reflected as he stared at the door. He remembered the times when he had run to his brother, seeking protection like a scared kitten, and when those arms had surrounded him and that familiar voice had whispered in his ear comforting things, he knew he would be safe. He sighed softly and drew his knees close to his chest, the door seemed to be mocking him from the shadows, the corridor seemed too quiet after the terrifying screams that had filled it not moments before. Even now, the door slamming still echoed in his head like a death knell. He could hear his mother's weeping from the drawing room, the occasional crash as his father broke something in his fury. His eyes found a shard of glass from a broken picture frame, he uncurled himself slowly and took up the broken frame in one shaking hand, slowly he turned it around and stared at it.

A boy of about two years old sat on a sofa wearing a huge grin as he stared at a baby lying by his side, his eyes glittered with fascination and love as he tickled the baby gently. Regulus didn't remember that moment, how could he, he was only just out of his mother's womb. He ran his fingers down the image of his brother, laughing joyfully at his new baby brother. A crack in the glass now separated the two boys and Regulus felt his stomach clench painfully, the frame fell from numb fingers as he buried his face in his hands and pressed the heels into his burning eyes. He was bent nearly double with his forehead on the carpet, the position undignified but Regulus couldn't care less in that moment as the screams and shouts echoed through his mind.

~XXX~

It was the crash that had woken him, he had been recovering from a summer cold and had been resting but the sound of his mother's screeches reached him from downstairs.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! YOU PICK THAT UP IMEADIATELY!"

"Why?!" Sirius' voice followed his mother's, full of insolence and fury. "You're such a fucking slave driver! You pick it up, you dropped the bloody thing!"

"Don't you DARE swear at me, young man! You just wait until your father comes home!"

A painfully familiar bark of laughter echoed to Regulus' room as he curled himself up beneath his duvet, he tried to hide under his pillow to block out the argument but it was no good. "Stop it…" He whispered and curled into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "Please…someone…make them stop!"

"I'll say whatever the fuck I want, I'm not a kid anymore, you can't boss me around!"

"You're not yet of age either, you ungreatful brat and I will tell you what to do whilst you live beneath our roof! Clean this up or I will tell your father!"

"Tell him, I don't care." The sound of footsteps on the stairs alerted Regulus that his brother was running up them, he heard Sirius slam his bedroom door open and heard him stomping around furiously. He sounded like he was pacing back and forth.

"Brat, am I?" Sirius growled, something crashed and Regulus could picture him kicking the desk. "I'll show them. I'll fucking show them."

After that Regulus had sighed heavily and felt himself drift back to sleep, it wasn't as bad as previous arguments had been so he relaxed and allowed sleep to take him down into darkness.

He woke the next day feeling better, he got out of bed and put on his dressing gown, as he stepped out of his room he bumped into Sirius who was loitering in the hallway. "Hey Reggie." He said and smiled stiffly, Regulus could see the beginnings of a bruise on his cheek and a dark smudge beneath one eye. Sirius noted where his gaze was and he touched his cheek lightly. "Don't worry about this, it'll take more than that to kill me."

"What did you do?" Regulus asked, Sirius' face fell and a sneer crossed his face.

"Nothing, as usual."

"It's because you swore at Mum."

Sirius glared at him. "You heard that? She deserved it. I'm not Kreacher…I'm supposed to be her son, not her house elf!" After a moment of glaring into the distance his face softened and he turned a smile onto his little brother. "So, you look better. Did the potion work?"

"Yes, thank you." Regulus said and returned his brother's smile. Sirius had made the potion for him when he had come down with the cold, he had snuck it into Regulus' room and given it to him with some hot soup and a cup of tea. They weren't allowed to touch the potion stores and Walburga had decided to let Regulus get over the cold naturally 'to make a man out of him', Sirius had taken pity on him and stolen from their stores. Later Regulus remembered hearing the sound of their father's belt and Sirius' muffled grunts, he still limped when he walked even two days afterwards.

"Let's get some breakfast." Sirius said and began making his way towards the stairs, abruptly Regulus took hold of his sleeve and made him stop in his tracks.

"Are you…are you alright?" He asked, gazing intently at Sirius' pale face. Sirius looked back, his eyes glittering darkly, he reached out and ruffled his brother's hair affectionately, something he hadn't done since they were much younger. "Sirius?"

"I'm fine, Reg, I'm…fine." His smile was strained however and when he turned away Regulus caught the fear in his eyes.

All that day Regulus felt that there was something wrong. There was a tight feeling in his gut, as if giant hands were squeezing it tightly. He saw his mother's eyes continually glaring at Sirius, who, for his part, avoided her angry stares. There was a tension that seeped into the walls of the house, it reached into Regulus' chest and made it hard for him to breathe, even as he sat in his room he could feel the tension like a poisonous miasma soaking up through the many floors.

That evening it reached a crescendo.

"Sirius…" Orion's low, forbidding growl sounded from downstairs. Regulus frowned and went to his door, he opened it just as his brother came out of his own, their eyes met and Sirius smiled weakly at him.

"Stay up here, read a comic or something…" Sirius' voice was tight but his eyes were determined, as he reached the top of the stairs he looked back over his shoulder. Regulus was suddenly struck by how similar they looked, the same grey eyes, the same prominent cheek bones and the same pitch dark hair. "You'll be alright, Reggie, I promised I'd protect you." Sirius said in a soft voice before turning away and walking down the stairs.

Regulus had never felt such terror before, it was as if Sirius was walking to his death. He tried to think back through the day and wondered what it was he could have done. After a moment's hesitation Regulus followed his brother's footsteps.

"We had a letter from the school today young man." Orion said as Regulus peered through the crack in the door to the drawing room, he could see Sirius standing tall before their parents with a haughty expression on his face. "Explain yourself. What on earth were you thinking, you stupid child?!"

Sirius glared, his eyes heavily lidded and fury radiating from every pore. "I wasn't thinking, was I? I've explained it all to the Headmaster and was punished accordingly. What did you expect me to do?!"

"You tempted another boy to a very dangerous tree where some animal attacked him?!" Walburga asked, her eyes blazing. "You fool! What would we have done if you had been arrested for murder?! How would we cope with the shame?! Oh, my poor heart cannot take much more of this! You should be ashamed of yourself, Sirius, you have brought so much grief to this family! Do you ever consider the ramifications of your actions?!"

"Obviously not, mother." Sirius said in a slow voice. "I did lead Snape into a trap, I admit it, but trust me when I say I regret it every day. I acted stupid, I not only have to deal with the headmaster's punishments but my friends' disappointments…"

"By 'friends' do you mean Potter?" Orion asked sharply, his eyes filling with disgust.

"James is my best friend." Sirius said firmly.

"The bloodtraitor?!" Walburga sounded faint and Regulus bit down on his lower lip nervously, he knew Sirius had nearly got Severus Snape killed towards the end of the year, it wasn't something that could be kept quiet. He also knew his brother had regretted it ever since, he had caught him once hidden behind a statue with his hands buried in his hair, Regulus had never seen him look so distressed, as if everything he thought he knew about himself had been shattered into thousands of pieces. "I never realised you were still hanging around him! I demand that you never see that filth again!"

Suddenly fury darkened Sirius' eyes, he bared his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. "I'll never stop being friends with someone just because you don't like them!"

"You will do what you are told to do, boy!" Orion warned, he stood slowly and towered over his son menacingly, even though there was not much difference in height, somehow Regulus thought Sirius looked so small in comparison. "We have had enough of your pointless rebellion! You will get your act together or we will make you, do you understand?!"

There was pregnant pause in which all the air left Regulus' lungs, his eyes widened in horror as Sirius' eyes caught his and a sad smile flitted across his face. "I'm not going to do as you say." He said quietly, turning his attention back to his parents. "I'm sick of it. I'm tired of being used as a punching bag over the tiniest thing. I'm bored of your pureblood supremacy shit and I have never, nor will I ever, follow the paths you set out for me! I am who I am and I will die before I change that just for you and your flawed logics!"

Once again silence fell like a shroud and all eyes stared at Sirius as he threw his shoulders back and glared at his parents defiantly. Regulus groaned softly, silently begging with his brother not to push it, to take it all back and accept whatever punishment Orion had in store. He begged whatever deity he could think of that Sirius accepted his fate and walked away, he didn't know what might happen but whatever it would be, it would be bad.

Orion growled dangerously, his eyes flashed as he removed the belt from around his waist. "You will apologise, boy. You will apologise and take your punishment like a man!"

Sirius sneered disdainfully. "Go fuck yourself you monster!" He screamed suddenly just as the thick leather descended, it hit him across the cheek and tore a gash in the skin. Blood ran down his neck sluggishly and he shut his eyes tightly. In the silence that followed Regulus held his breath, his hand pressed over his mouth as suddenly laughter filled the room, it was a horrible sound and it was coming from Sirius. The laughter was emotionless, Sirius lifted his arm and wiped the blood from his cheek on his sleeve. "Is that all you got? You think you're a fucking hard man, hitting me like some worthless slave?! Well…you know what? I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR HATE! I'M DONE! I'M OUT!" Sirius abruptly spun on his heels, he stormed towards the door and Regulus backed off rapidly as it was slammed open.

"You vile child! Come back here this instant and apologise! Sirius! Sirius!"

Sirius ignored his mother's cries, his eyes met Regulus' for an instant and Regulus saw the long hidden pain suddenly revealed as if a mask had been ripped away. It nearly stopped his heart as he stumbled into the wall and slipped down it, Sirius sped up into a run as he took the stairs two at a time. Regulus took a second to recover before following his brother, he found him hastily throwing clothes and other bits into his already half-packed school trunk. "S-Sirius?" He gasped, eyes wide with incomprehension and terror.

Without looking at him Sirius paused with dress robes draped in his hands. "Reg, I'm sorry." He whispered and threw them into his trunk along with the other stuff, he forced it closed and locked it before grabbing his wand and levitating the trunk out of the door. Regulus was pushed gently aside as Sirius strode out of the room, he swallowed a hard lump that was rapidly growing in his throat.

"S-S-Sirius?" He tried again but his brother didn't look back, he flew down the stairs after him and reached the bottom of the stairs just as Orion and Walburga stepped out to block the door. Regulus' breath left him as Sirius raised his wand threateningly.

"Out of my way! I'm leaving this shit hole and I'm never, ever coming back!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Walburga said disdainfully. "You have nowhere else to go. Put that trunk down and get back in the drawing room."

"Do as your mother says boy or it will be a whole lot worse if you don't!" He snapped his belt menacingly and Regulus began hoping Sirius would do as they said.

Sirius laughed, a sharp, humourless bark that belied the hatred radiating from his body. "Do you think I'm fucking stupid?! I'm sixteen not some kid you can order around anymore! I told you; I've had enough of this shit! I'm leaving. For good! I'm NEVER coming back! out of the way or I'll make you!"

"Why?!" Walburga's eyes widened in shock. "Why would you do this? Have you not put us through enough pain?! Must you torture us like this? Where will you go?"

"To James'…or Andromeda's…I don't know yet but no matter where I go it doesn't matter to you. OUT OF MY WAY!"

"Why?" Regulus spoke without meaning too, abruptly Sirius spun around with wide eyes as he stared at his brother.

"I have to." Sirius' voice lost its fury and his eyes softened. "I'm sorry, Reg, I won't be able to keep that promise." He smiled wonkily and cocked his head to the side. "Just make sure you don't turn into a clone of them, Reg…I'd hate to lose you too, little brother."

Regulus stared at his parents and back to Sirius, his eyes flicking between the two. A battle raged within him, he loved his brother and wanted to see him but if Sirius left then he would be disowned and Regulus wouldn't be able to see him anymore…it wouldn't be an issue if he went with Sirius but he couldn't do that. His eyes lingered on Walburga's face, her eyes wide with shock and fear and anger, but beneath all that he could see the fragile woman she truly was. He swallowed and, like he was wrenching his own heart out, he made his descision. His eyes met his brother's. "Please, don't go Sirius." He whispered, one last attempt to bring him back, but even before the words had left his lips he knew it was useless.

Sirius' eyes filled with an agony that mirrored Regulus' own, for a moment he stood, frozen in the hall way as indescision filled him, then he took a breath. "I have to, I'm sorry." He breathed and turned his back on his brother. Regulus' eyes widened as Sirius moved towards the door, Walburga reached for him but Orion put a large hand on her shoulder and pulled her out of the way. He glared at his son's retreating back.

"The minute you step out of that door Boy you will never be able to come back, you hear me?"

"Good." Sirius said with a bitter half smile. "Look mother, it's what you've always wanted…I'm leaving and I will never be stain upon this ancient and ever so noble house again. Isn't that wonderful?"

Walburga began to sob into her hands, Orion's face twisted and he spat at Sirius' feet. "Filthy Bloodtraitor scum, get out! GET OUT!"

"Yes, leave us! Leave and never come back! You will be blasted off the tapestry and if you even think you will inherit anything you will think wrong! I hope you die alone and penniless!" Walbruga screamed and Sirius laughed again before throwing the door open. "You ungrateful, useless, traitorous filth! Vile spawn! I wish you had never been born!"

Something was thrown at Sirius' head, he didn't have time to duck as a picture hit him in the forehead and drove him stumbling into the wall with a soft gasp. Blood trickled down his head as he turned wide eyes to the object that now lay shattered at his feet; the picture of the first time he had met Regulus. Without another word he turned and left, the door slamming behind him so hard a portrait fell to the floor with a dissonant wail.

~XXX~

The scent of burning cloth stung Regulus' nose as he peered into the drawing room, he could see his mother on her knees before the family tapestry and sobbing into her hands. Orion was drinking heavily in one corner with a dark, brooding frown on his face. Slowly Regulus closed the door and backed away, he felt something constrict his throat, his stomach clenched painfully and he clutched the photograph of himself and Sirius tightly to his chest. He was gone. He had broken every promise he had ever made to him, he had lied and thrown Regulus' whole world into chaos…who would protect him now?

As he ran up to his room he felt a hard resolve fill his heart, he was fifteen, he should be able to protect himself. He closed his door and leaned against it as emotions too complicated to understand whirled through his mind and made him dizzy. If Sirius was no longer here that would mean it fell to him to protect the family, what choice did he have? He had never considered himself strong, not like Sirius, he wasn't brave and he certainly wasn't as powerful as Sirius…

_You're strong, Reggie, take it from me._

Sirius' voice echoed from a deep recess of his mind and he remembered all the times Sirius had told him how clever and powerful he was. He could do it. He could protect the family in Sirius' stead.

New resolve hardened him and he stood straighter, he lifted the picture and looked at the image, absorbing it for a moment before moving across his room and hiding it at the very bottom of his wardrobe. "I'll be strong Sirius, just you wait and see." He whispered and smiled to himself.


End file.
